February 14 – Valentine’s Day
My Dear Angel,
My name is ________. Hope you remember that. How are you? I know you will be fine without me but still I wanted to hear that from you. The reason why I am writing this to you is to reveal something that I could not do when we are in a relation. Okay, I take the blame because I failed to find the time to talk to you about all this and I have a lot of respect to this TIME. Because it is the reason for everything that happened between us! One fine day, at some point in TIME, I expressed my love to you. 🙂 And after that, several TIMES we spent time together and several TIMES we made some good memories. Finally, on some other day, at some other point of TIME, we are out of the relation, and it is because of not giving TIME to you. As I said, I’m ready to take this blame! I stick to that. I finally found some TIME for you this Valentine’s season and let me bring you to our school days!
It is our English class. Our Joseph sir wanted us to enact a play in the classroom. Those were the times, where we carried no mobile phone to the schools/classrooms. Those were the times, where we have absolutely no idea of checking for something instantly on Google. Those were the times, where we gave the stress of thinking to our brain and out of little things I read/remember something about Valentine’s day I formed a team and directed the play called “The Story Behind Valentine’s Day.” While all the students in the class are excitedly watching the play, from a corner of the classroom, I secretly stared blushing watching you with a smile on your face! Nostalgia!!! Thanks, baby, because of you I’ve got to remember this!
And I had to say this to you(never told before), your voice is the reason for falling for you!! The sweetness in your voice whenever you call my name is a divine thing. What a voice man!! It is one of the reasons that I joined your singing team. I wanted to feel your presence around me and listen to you. No matter, what you speak/sing. At this point, I wanted to thank our class teachers for making both of us class leaders! The sweet wars we had during those days are some memories you left with me.
And then you changed your school. I never thought of searching up for you!! I knew your house, and that might be the reason for that. 7 out of ten times, I get to cross your house whenever I go out to some work! My bad luck, I have never seen you near your home any time till date.
Life is an unpredictable drama where God is the screenplay writer. My NOKIA 2690 phone is lucky because it received the first ever message from you in my life.! From the time you left me, (or I left you) in school to the time we got in touch again for the second time in our lives, so many interesting things happened in both of our lives! Thankfully, we have used this time to talk about each other. All this happened in my second year of graduation. While I am struggling in adjusting the time to my college and the writing job, you are in my life. Oh, life paused for a second. I danced like an Idiot. Everybody has a chapter that they don’t read out loud, but at a point in time, I felt that you need me, and yes, you happened to think the same as well and shared the chapter with me. To my knowledge, I am successful in erasing that chapter from your life. I regret not screenshotting your first WhatAapp message to me on my first job anniversary! That was another memorable moment in my life. It came as a surprise because, until that day, you are just another friend of mine (crush may be!).
You are always my favourite reason to lose sleep. And on one such day, with Thanatophobia, I expressed my love to you! You didn’t say “I Love You” like a normal person. Instead, you smiled and whispered that I’m an idiot. Yeah, I felt that I’m the lucky person enjoying the moment while the entire world is sleeping. You are an angel in my heaven. I wanted to make the ordinary things in the most extraordinary manner, simply by doing with you. To be honest with you, I don’t have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about. And I have a heart; a heart that’s aching to see you smile again. But you made me realise that it is TIME that I don’t have to do all this when I totally forgot and made myself busy to set the proper career. The struggle began, for the existence of our LOVE. In between all this, I can still remember the sweet voice of yours singing my favourite songs! I just tried to be the BEST version of Myself and give the same to you. Maybe I’m not matured enough to realise the importance of TIME at that point. All I thought of using the TIME to build my career rather. Poor me!
Now, I remember how we met, got into relation but not how we took the exit. Still, while I am writing this also, I could not recollect that. Maybe my mind is accepting only the sweet memories you left with me. The life is almost the same even when you are not with me because I could not find much difference in my actions, but yes, I agree that my thoughts changed a lot. There is a severe Tsunami and Hud-Hud like thing happening with my process of reflection, but I never stopped the world again and continued with what I should do thinking about you once a day! When we have a wound, the pain travels with us, but we feel that very rare. But when the wound is healed, there will be no pain but the mark which makes us recollect the story behind the injury. The same is the situation with me then! A year ago, we stayed up till 3 am talking, but today, I don’t know how even to say “Hey” The fact is that Missing someone isn’t about someone how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something, and you wish that they were right there with you. In the initial days, when I missed you, I re-read our old messages smiled like an Idiot. I read our whole conversation from bottom to the top. How romantic! I was surprised to find out how I got time for all this. Maybe you could have waited to see that or learn what happened after you left me. I also wished that you could have waited few more days to see me in a better place than I was in the past as I achieved that TIME I promised to spend with you. The Poor US this time!
And statistically, the phrase “WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS” has approximately zero success rate (at least in our case). Now coming, to the present, I never know why we did not celebrate Valentine’s Day. We don’t need to actually because we lived every day sharing love. Maybe.. Maybe not. These days, every time, when I get to hear my favourite song accidentally, I wish that was you! Every time, I pass by your house, I ‘d like you to stand out on your balcony to wave your hand at me. Every time, I watch the film called Premam, I look around for you because after watching it for so many occasions, I wish to watch it with you at least for one time. Every time, I look up to shop something online, I want to gift something for you. I immediately wanted to text you that “so and so thing suits you well. Why don’t you try it?” But all this is not going to work out anymore. Someday I might find the best version of YOU in someone else. And I am sure that will be the end of the BEST, and I can not find it anywhere else. Or maybe I won’t. Maybe I will find someone better than the BEST I wished for. I never gifted anything to you! I wish I would have given the precious gift called MY TIME for you! I didn’t do that. But there is always the feeling that you gifted your love to me (to my knowledge!) and for this Valentine’s day, I decided to gift this letter with LOVE and MY TIME to make it balance.
After getting this letter published, I thought of sending the link to you. But exactly while writing this sentence, I called off the plan! Please don’t ask me why? But I wholeheartedly wish you read this or someone we both knew send this to you. (me an idiot, right?)
Well, now on a concluding note, You’re pretty much one of my most favourites of all time in the history of ever..! Without you, this letter could not be possible, and I sincerely thank you and love you for that. On a teasing note again, with this letter, I want to find love. To my future love, if you are reading this, all you need to do is say YES .. and Trust me, I will make the other love stories jealous of us!
You’re my Inspiration!
Written by: Rayarao Sriram
More about writer: http://www.rayaraosriram.com/p/about-me.html